My NDE/Awakening

I saw his eyes and I remembered Him.  I saw his smile and I remembered Him.  I felt his Love and I ran to his outstretched arms.  I embraced him just as I embrace my own breath.  He embraced me with his loving arms and his All loving presence.  I wept with sweet joy and sweet remembrance.  I clung to him much the way a frightened child clings to her mother.  I felt completely at home in his arms and in his embrace.  I was at home and remembered that in His embrace is exactly where I belong.  He tenderly kissed the top of my head while I buried my face in the warm glow of his heart center.  He exuded joy.

He laughed and I heard Angels sing with his laughter.  His laughter was sweet music to my ears.  He telepathically assured me that I was home.  I felt unending joy and sweet bliss at that moment.   I hesitate to use the word moment, because that moment could easily have been a split second or could easily have been an eternity.  Time, as we know it here, had left me.  Either way, in that timelessness, I was completely fulfilled and satisfied in his embrace and in his presence.  I felt my entire being melt into His heart center, into His Love.  I felt completely at One again with Love…Pure Unconditional Love.

The accident…..

It was a hot, summer Texas day in June.   Four of my girlfriends and I made plans to go inner-tubing down the local river.  We had a wonderful day of sun, water and play.  However, our unassuming day was about to change my life forever.  We packed our ices chests and
inner tubes, and ourselves and headed back to the shuttle bus to finish up our day on the river.  The shuttle buses’ purpose is to shuttle us to and from our cars and to the outfitter that supplied us the inner tubes.  We piled our ice chests and tubes into the trailer that the bus was pulling, and we climbed on board the small shuttle bus.

This bus in particular was a small, old school bus. The type of school bus that holds about 12 people.  I was the first person of our group onto the bus.  I saw immediately that the seats were full, so I instinctively turned around to disembark and wait for the next bus.  However, there were people besides our group piling on behind us.

I didn’t want to make a big fuss, so I made my way to the back of the bus and stood in the aisle, thinking to myself perhaps it was alright to stand unprotected for the 2- 3 mile ride.  Being the first one on the bus, my back was the closest to the back door of the bus.

As the driver made his way through the gears, the ride became quite bumpy.

And that’s when it happened….

the driver threw the bus into 3rd gear as he was pulling away from a signal light. This action threw me up against the back door, causing the door to fly open.

At this moment, all time stopped for me.

I fell out of the back of the bus.

I fell out while the bus was traveling down the street.  When I fell out, the first thing my body did was fall full force onto my back onto the trailer hitch.

My body bounced off of the trailer hitch and onto my back again onto the Texas Summer hot pavement.

My body then bounced again under the trailer onto my right side.  At that moment, the wheel of the large and heavy trailer ran over my head and over my neck.

That is the action that killed me.  I knew immediately when the wheel of the trailer ran over my head that I had just died.

I had many thoughts at that time and in the experience that followed.

What I remember the most at this split second, though is thinking that my  death would put a big damper on the wonderful day that we just had.

I was not afraid to die at all.  And felt it quite natural.  I had no concern for myself with my death, but rather that it would be very sad for my friends to have to deal with my death after such a fun day.  I knew instinctively that I would be fine.

At that point, I popped out of my body and floated up above, probably about 10 ft above the street looking at my broken body in the middle of the road.  I saw the bus and trailer continue moving away from my body.  I saw vehicles that were traveling behind the bus, thankfully stopping before they also ran over my body, one being a commuter bus.

I watched the scene for a bit and soon grew bored and weary, so I turned around, moving forward a bit, and immediately found myself standing in the Light.

The Light….

Describing the Light in our limited language is a challenge in itself.  I will do my best.  I raised my face and hands above me, to embrace the Light.  The Light is tangible.  Try to imagine an atmosphere that surrounds you with never ending light bubbles of the purest love and joy.  And these bubbles of love and joy enter and permeate throughout your being leaving you to feel the purest form of love and joy.  I remember smiling with such a wide smile that I thought that my face wasn’t wide enough to contain my smile.

I imagine there are many words that describe the light better than I fumble to.  I admit that words fail me when I  try to describe the Light to others.  The Light is something that we all remember when we return home, however, do not have anything to compare to here. Therefore, I find it is difficult to describe.   Standing in the Light, I could have stayed there for all of eternity.   I knew instantly that I was home again.

As I basked in the Light, I saw a figure approach me.  It was my step-father who had died in 1998.  Dad and I were very close; therefore I missed him terribly when he died.  I was extremely happy to see him.  Dad and I communicated telepathically.  We talked about how my transition would really grieve my mother, whom I was also very close to.  Dad showed me the future, and that mom would be transitioning herself soon.

It was 1 ½ years after this NDE that mom transitioned Home.

While communicating with Dad, I saw others come into my view.  I saw a tunnel and saw my grandparents lined up on both sides of the tunnel.  I also saw many other relatives that I would not have recognized in the physical life, however, I recognized on that side.

Dad and I moved down the tunnel together.  As we moved down the tunnel, I saw a bright light as bright as the sun moving toward me.  The glow of this light did not hurt my eyes, though like the light of the sun would.

The Sun….

As the huge ball of light approached me, or I approached it, I can’t say for sure…I saw a figure slowly and beautifully emerge from the light…

It was Him.   It was Yeshua.  Many refer to him as Jesus.  What ever name you give him, He is Love. I realized at that moment how much I had longed for Him.

I was raised Catholic, and mean no offense to the Catholic Church and it’s followers, but I personally, did not resonate with the Church teachings, therefore, did not feel a closeness to the deity’s of the Catholic teachings.  I believe I felt that Jesus and the saints were out of reach for me and out of touch with modern day society.  He and they seemed so inaccessible to me throughout my life.  I always believed in God or a Higher power, however, was not a church going person.  Plus, I sparred with Christians about how they held their Jesus up to be the one and only savior.  And I am not saying here that I was wrong throughout my life. I am simply relaying my story. I believe that I was greeted by Yeshua because I was raised Christian, so Yeshua or Jesus is who I would relate to when journeying Home. Love is able to take on any form. He taught me this.

Feasting my eyes upon Him, I was gloriously stunned with his beauty and his presence.  Yeshua smiled at me with his amazingly loving eyes and with his whole being.  He held his arms out in beckoning for me to go to him.  I flew to him!  I held onto Him for dear life.  Yeshua held me and comforted me perfectly.  I felt complete again.

We communicated telepathically.  He put his hand under my chin and raised my head to look into his eyes.  His eyes melted my heart.  His eyes, oh, his eyes…  How do you describe the beauty and Light of the Universe?  How do you describe all encompassing Love?  How do you describe Light that shines into Eternity?

His eyes held all that I Am.  I realized how truly beautiful I am…in His eyes.  There were no words spoken.  His eyes told me everything.  His gaze surrounded me like a cleansing pool of the clearest green-blue water.  I was completely cleansed with his eyes.  He surrounded me with his Love, through his eyes. I remembered how deeply and truly loved I really am.  I remembered that I Am Love.  Any and all feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, etc, fell away with the Light from His eyes.  I felt His Light fill me up.  Being filled with His Light, I was then shining Love through my eyes back to him.  I became a conduit for His Light and Love that Yeshua was shining to me, and through me.  I was emanating His Light back to Him through my eyes.  I was Love.  I was Light.  I remembered that I was Pure Light.  I remembered that we are Light.  We are Love. I remembered that Light and Love are one in the same.  I was swept away in Light, in Love.

My awareness of my physicality began to dissipate into the Light.  I became the Light.  The only thing I have to clumsily compare this sensation of merging into Light to here on Earth, is that I felt as if I was melting into a beautiful clear pool of perfectly energized water.

As my physical awareness melted away, I became aware of how enormously wonderful it felt to be Light again!  I heard Yeshua’s voice again.  Or rather, I should say, I was aware of his communication.  His communication to me was like the most soothing balm ever imagined.  I remember the communication now as a voice, however I don’t feel there was a voice, simply soothing Light that communicated.  I remembered that I would have been happy just listening to, or basking in His voice or Light communication for all of Eternity.

Yeshua asked me with the sweetest and purest communication, if I wanted to go on a journey with Him.  I gleefully and joyfully agreed! How could I say no?! My excitement was probably in the realms of asking a wide-eyed child if they would like to visit Disney World on another planet.

I felt movement.  And then I saw another Light as bright as the Sun in the distance.  We, or the Light moved closer, I cannot say for sure.  As I gazed into this beautiful Sun of Blue-White Light, I perceived what appeared to be a planet emerge from the Light.

As I watched the planet emerge from the Light, I felt and knew that I was part of this planet.  At that point of remembrance I became One with the planet!  I was the planet!

At this point on Oneness, I felt all the love imaginable for the inhabitants of the planet…for the inhabitants of my being . I felt so much love for and also, from these inhabitants. I was them, and they were me. There was a total connectedness with the life forms that were a part of my body, a part of my being.

This beautiful planet that I merged with was/is a water planet.  I knew instinctively that the beings that inhabit this planet are water beings.

I knew that the being that was the soul of this planet was also my soul. I remembered Him as my ultimate counter-part, as what is called my Twin Ray. I knew that this planet, this being was where my physical embodiment was most at Home. I knew that this is where I travel to in my dream time. I knew then why I was so attracted to, and felt divinely connected to dolphins, mermaids, whales and all water creatures.

My Twin then communicated to me telepathically, surrounding me with His Love, and equal longing for our re-union. No words were spoken, simply pure tangible feelings of Completion, Love and Joy. At our merging, I felt then as if we had not ever been apart. I felt as if my life on Earth were merely a dream, and that I had simply awakened from my dream. I felt as if this existence with my Twin was where I had always been. I felt that this was what was real and true, and that my life on Earth was simply a hazy dream that was quickly fading away from my memory.

I don’t know how long I stayed in conscious union with my Twin…as I said before, it could have been a few moments, or it could have been an eternity. Time did not exist. So, I don’t know at what point, but at some point, I felt/heard the communication that I was needed back on Earth. I fought it…oh, how I fought it. But, my Heart knew that I wasn’t finished on Earth. I then heard Him tell me that we would be back together again soon. He also told me that He would always be with me on Earth…that we would be in constant telepathic communication. At that point I did not distinguish between Yeshua or my Twin Ray… who’s name I remembered as Herxentheus. The Love and Longing to be together as One were exactly the same.

As soon as I agreed to come back, I was immediately slammed back into my body.  I say slammed because that is exactly how it felt.

At that point I jumped up from laying sprawled out middle of the road. I was in shock a this point, and didn’t remember what had happened at first. All I knew was that I was half naked, people were surrounding me, asking me if I was all-right.  I was bleeding, stunned, and my head felt like it had been crushed in a vice. As my awareness was forced back into my body on this plane, my journey Home slowly began to fade like a dream.

However, the memories returned to me very soon afterward, much like ocean waves crashing on the shore, and continue to return to this day.

Because of my journey Home, I am not afraid to die…I actually look forward to my transition. But, I’m not in a hurry. I love my life now. However, I do relish in the thought of the all encompassing Love that awaits me when I return Home again.

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